Stream of consciousness

It stormed today Looking out from the underground the water came down like a high-powered shower People I know are on a raft in the river now I am inside and cosy I am going to make lamb soup I am a little worried about the river people … For my last post I described… Continue reading Stream of consciousness

My plea : PTSD Poem

Information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) PTSD Poem I don’t know WHAT to Do I am SpiralLING I feel like I want to RIP MY SKIN OFF I want to CrY SCreaM break EVERYTHING I hate everything and everyone I hate this FUCKING world TrappeD ObligeD WHY AM I HERE? Can I go? NoW Let me GO… Continue reading My plea : PTSD Poem

The Mediterranean

I was in the Mediterranean for a few days this month. I had not been since March 2012 and had not spent any summer time since 2010. Memory is a strange thing. I was somehow catapulted back in time. It was 2010 and before. I was nervous. I got constipated. I went through memories and incidents… Continue reading The Mediterranean

The last hurdle

I have gingerly moved into my new life space. It took over four months to fully commit. Emotions came first. Practicalities and logistics took their time. The transition is almost over. I am reminded of the overwhelming stress of the unknown. Registering as a resident. Stress. It took ten minutes. Relief.  Applying for the integration… Continue reading The last hurdle


Foundation Premise Starting point Reference point Building structure Basis Romantic me wanted a new start Emotional me needed to do what I needed Practical me took a leap of faith Financial me got a personal loan We all hoped for the best Now it is raining and shining So brightly in the same hour The… Continue reading Foundation


I didn’t stand up for myself You never stood up for me He always put me down After building me up You put me down After being out of the picture Standing passively while I was tortured That After it happened countless times With you With strangers With peers With classmates With ‘friends’ I now… Continue reading Enough


Fear is gone Nothing like a threat to realise value If you ever want to kill yourself just remember how hard you fought when someone tried to kill you That is your value The mystery of value The mystery of feeling The insecure security of doing what you want because it is what you need… Continue reading Action-Reaction


I can’t write poetically about this. I have been ill since Wednesday. Nearly half a week unnecessarily ill. I had my first day at work on Wednesday. It was to be my only day. Context: I got scared when I moved to a different country. Unlike a lot of people I know I do not… Continue reading Contract

Anxious Apathy

Today I went to a baby’s first birthday party. On our way to the party me and my boyfriend bickered. I feel I am making him miserable. He says I am very important to him. I need to get my head round the fact that even a life without trauma and hardship can be frustrating… Continue reading Anxious Apathy