Information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
PTSD Poem
I don’t know WHAT to Do
I am SpiralLING
I feel like I want to RIP MY SKIN OFF
I want to
CrY
SCreaM
break EVERYTHING
I hate everything and everyone
I hate this FUCKING world
TrappeD
ObligeD
WHY AM I HERE?
Can I go?
NoW
Let me GO
I don’t want to do anyTHING
I can’t appreciate ANYthing
I am in auto-pilot
I know what I need to do
I can’t feel my way through this
Too much thinking
No quality of life
This feels like a theatre piece
Why can’t I FEEL anything?
I am NumB to the NOW
I am angry about things that are over
So over
I feel disempowered by my life
Trying to be NormaL
A Pure ThEory to me
BoDy is HurT
I want sex
I don’t want sex
If I instigate it it’s okay
If he doesn’t he doesn’t like me
If he does I feel forced
I want to cry
I freeze
I get up agaIN
and
AGAIN
and
AgAiN
AND
aGaIN
I want to solve something
I NeEd a ResoLUtion
I can’t see
I can’t SEE anything
I can’t fully remember
I feel I will die if I do
I feel I am Dying because I Can’t
There is a pressure building up inside me that cannot come out
Why is this ALL that I feel?
All that I AM?
I can’t imagine being anything else
other than
a trauma victim
Survivor sorry
Surviving
BARELY
SURVIVING
Why?
For whom?
Fuck you PTSD
Fuck you repression
Fuck you anger
Fuck you pride and bravado
Enough
I SEE you
I acknowledge the truth
I broke off from the abusers
I spoke out
I cut the cancer out
Now
Leave me alone
Fuck off
You are not mine