My plea : PTSD Poem

Information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD Poem

I don’t know WHAT to Do

I am SpiralLING

I feel like I want to RIP MY SKIN OFF

I want to

CrY

SCreaM

break EVERYTHING

I hate everything and everyone

I hate this FUCKING world

TrappeD

ObligeD

WHY AM I HERE?

Can I go?

NoW

Let me GO

I don’t want to do anyTHING

I  can’t appreciate ANYthing

I am in auto-pilot

I know what I need to do

I can’t feel my way through this

Too much thinking

No quality of life

This feels like a theatre piece

Why can’t I FEEL anything?

I am NumB to the NOW

I am angry about things that are over

So over

I feel disempowered by my life

Trying to be NormaL

A Pure ThEory to me

BoDy is HurT

I want sex

I don’t want sex

If I instigate it it’s okay

If he doesn’t he doesn’t like me

If he does I feel forced

I want to cry

I freeze

I get up agaIN

and

AGAIN

and

AgAiN

AND

aGaIN

I want to solve something

I NeEd a ResoLUtion

I can’t see

I can’t SEE anything

I can’t fully remember

I feel I will die if I do

I feel I am Dying because I Can’t

There is a pressure building up inside me that cannot come out

Why is this ALL that I feel?

All that I AM?

I can’t imagine being anything else

other than

a trauma victim

Survivor sorry

Surviving

BARELY

SURVIVING

Why?

For whom?

Fuck you PTSD

Fuck you repression

Fuck you anger

Fuck you pride and bravado

Enough

I SEE you

I acknowledge the truth

I broke off from the abusers

I spoke out

I cut the cancer out

Now

Leave me alone

Fuck off

You are not mine