The last hurdle

I have gingerly moved into my new life space. It took over four months to fully commit. Emotions came first. Practicalities and logistics took their time. The transition is almost over. I am reminded of the overwhelming stress of the unknown.

Registering as a resident. Stress. It took ten minutes. Relief. 

Applying for the integration language course. Overwhelmed. Blocked. Registration took about twenty minutes. Wait was about six weeks. The price is more than fair. The teacher is excellent. My classmates are fun. The ethos is positive. I really appreciate the space. Joy. Expansion.

Getting freelance work through contacts. New kid nerves. Doing some freelance work. Well paid. Flexible. Excitement. Relief. Appreciation.

Having my first bad experience in a potential new workplace. Poisonous stress. Full emotional rebellion. Expressed myself. Got out of it. Free. Reminded of my principles. Broke. Happy.

Having to sort out costly and obligatory health insurance. Complete emotional panic. Freeze. Alone.Overwhelmed. Talked to them. Got the facts. Got the forms. Supplying them with relevant information. Supported by my partner. Acceptance. Trust.

Amending my address on records in the UK. Officially ‘moved abroad’. Panic of letting go of a false sense of security. It took less than half an hour. I still have all the rights I had before. Nothing was taken away from me. Feeling consolidated. 

My life is more in one place than it has been since I was 18 years old, when I left Cyprus for the first time. I lived all over England. I moved about ten times in seven or so years. I ended up in Germany. I don’t think it is going to end here but it’s good for now. It was always easier for me to flee, move, be on the run. Now that I have decided to settle, despite my knee jerk reaction to keep one foot out the door, I realise why people stay in one place and commit to something. It is so much simpler. Being in a stable situation is rewarding. Committing is rewarding.

If 23 year old me was reading this right now she would be mortified. I think. Or maybe this is what I needed all along. It just took a while to find it.