Blog

When you have achieved inner peace self worth acceptance and don’t feel you need to work to prove it When you leave everything behind and have nothing to hold onto When you realise you can live without it Why would you look for it again? When you don’t need anything but yourself to feel here… Continue reading When. It. Never. Ends.

Since the competitive nature of my secondary school days and the brainwashing that subliminally happened through the prevailing value system there, I have had trouble being happy with having no achievements to show for myself. And in fact forget that I have achieved a lot in the past and just focus on the present moment,… Continue reading Forgiving non-Achievement

Back from the other hemisphere again My feet swelled to three times their size for once I have slept for about three days again I cried when I left I felt like I knew what I came back to even though it was not the same So I rearranged things in the flat We cleaned… Continue reading Back from the other side

On the way to Australia From freezing Germany to tropical Vietnam to sticky Cambodia back to busy Vietnam The shoals of motorcycles The hats and masks The tuk tuks and the Lexuses The street food The street bugs The mosquitoes The storm in the jungle and the bicycle ride through it the traffic being our… Continue reading Midpoint Meeting

PTSD drama adrenaline- fight or flight- choose fight now- flight was the balm- not appropriate- will be left with nothing- hold ground- negative triggers- mind thinking patterns- drop them- JUST STOP- exercise in self-control and soothing- don’t indulge the negative fantasy- drop it I have realised recently that I was allowing myself to spiral into… Continue reading Revolutionary semi-PTSD Realisation

The body is like a bank If you starved it it will remember If you deprived it it will seek compensation If you didn’t sleep enough for years You will sleep too much for years Epic dream sequences that feel real and repressed Angry and wanting to shout but nothing comes out Wanting to run… Continue reading Sleep

Yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of the wall coming down in Germany. To celebrate there was a symbolic wall of white helium balloons put up all along where the wall used to be. They were lit up when the sun went down and then released to fly up to the sky lightless and with little… Continue reading The Wall that Flew Away

I’m hurting I’m fine Nothing’s happening There’s just been a tornado my stuff is everywhere my stuff isn’t mine anymore my compasses flipped my barometer is empty I’ve reached my destination I’ve fulfilled my mission The door is closed behind me And there is such a stretch ahead The sky is green The trees are… Continue reading Normal

I use what I have I use the poison to make the antidote I communicate what I know It’s all I have It’s all I can give I can’t reject if I haven’t received I can’t eject if I haven’t ingested I can’t assimilate air I need to take you in of you’re to become… Continue reading Antidote

In our world the world of no bombs the world of no famine the world of micromanagement and individualistic achievement The world of first world problems as bad as any other one big trap one big trick longing missing restricting ourselves because nobody else will The hidden curriculum teaches us to obey it civilises us… Continue reading Achievement