When. It. Never. Ends.

When you have achieved

inner peace

self worth


and don’t feel you need to work

to prove it

When you leave everything behind

and have nothing to hold onto

When you realise you can live without it

Why would you look for it again?

When you don’t need anything but yourself to feel here

Some people call it enlightenment

In practice it feels more like isolation

Surrounded by people who don’t understand you

Still having to think about money despite not valuing it at all

makes making it harder

Having nothing to talk about (sell) at dinner parties

And if you are not working you feel that people think you have

less of a right to be there

It’s never enough is it?

I killed myself for years

doing projects

expressing myself

finding myself

showcasing work

paying my bills by working at a call-centre

going to therapy

keeping up relationships

chasing hologram dreams

keeping myself together

For what?

To keep doing it

That’s what