When you have achieved
inner peace
self worth
acceptance
and don’t feel you need to work
to prove it
When you leave everything behind
and have nothing to hold onto
When you realise you can live without it
Why would you look for it again?
When you don’t need anything but yourself to feel here
Some people call it enlightenment
In practice it feels more like isolation
Surrounded by people who don’t understand you
Still having to think about money despite not valuing it at all
makes making it harder
Having nothing to talk about (sell) at dinner parties
And if you are not working you feel that people think you have
less of a right to be there
It’s never enough is it?
I killed myself for years
doing projects
expressing myself
finding myself
showcasing work
paying my bills by working at a call-centre
going to therapy
keeping up relationships
chasing hologram dreams
keeping myself together
For what?
To keep doing it
That’s what