A kind of heaviness

in my chest

intercepted with


almost physical

I rub it sometimes

Changing breathing helps

but is very hard to sustain alone

I feel lonely

but can’t ask for a hug

I feel jealous

but I can’t say I know why

People seem to have more

than me

because I don’t know

their lives

I am tired of

strength and bravery

It doesn’t give me

space to mourn

space to grieve

space to be livid

with the appropriate people

I don’t want to show

sadness and misery

because it is


uncomfortable for others


I think I am at breaking point

I have to give in now

I can’t connect

Everything is a set-back

I know I will persevere



I just want to

Give up

Give in

and Rest a while