Documenting my process
The only way I know how to do things
Making the feeling real
As if it is not enough
on its own
My grief was put on pause for a few days
As I turned on myself
and then on my husband
We took it out on each other
Distracting ourselves from our aching hearts
My whole world felt like it was collapsing
Our loss was an injury
a trauma without insult
a sad organic occurense
Nobody’s fault
Even if we do find a cause
A reason still requires
Acceptance
And faith for the future
Fearlessness is no longer my word
Maybe bravery can be
Right now it is stillness
A quest for peace and solace
while I move on and ahead
Giving my son a place in my life
since he didn’t get the chance
to do it himself
Putting him in a happy and profound place
in my filing cabinet
As my body slowly deflates and heals