No words

Just sounds

Sounds disconnected to words

Meanings loading them

making them matter

making them powerful

Crushing my voice

Interfering with my sound

My voice is part of my body

not my mind

which is also inside my body

but an entity of its own

My voice is not only an instrument but an organ

Having control over an organ

is a contradiction in itself

I am trying to control my biology

I am trying to play an instrument in the dark

My voice is a violin I have never seen

Instead of fumbling around blindly

I am looking frantically for the light switch