The walls are farting, literally. There is a plumbing problem in the building. There seems to be air going through the pipes. Both me and my partner feel a bit out of sorts. I felt pregnant these past few days. We both had a bit of nausea. I had light-headedness and food cravings. I am not pregnant but still feeling like something is happening in me, while simultaneously something is being released.
I have come to conclude that this may have something to do with my previous post. Reflecting on it, I feel better. I feel lighter. I also feel like nothing has been shaken or destroyed, as I had expected it to. A very disempowering thought, established in childhood, where if I told on the hand that fed me I would starve. I feed me now. It finally got embedded in my emotional psyche. I feel free but never thought it would take this much getting used to. I am in a kind of disbelief. I can’t believe the world didn’t end.
I in no way wanted it to seem like an accusation and I did not want it to be a confrontation towards the abusers. I just wanted to set myself free. It is open information, a true story, which needed to be shared and shed. I need to move on with my life and find what that is.
So far, it is in sunny Berlin, in a lovely light flat, with a special person. Anything could happen now.