There are so many more words

for this state

It is more than a feeling

It is an all-consuming condition

I felt fine

until an apparent trigger

that sent me off my orbit

into a dark space

where I made all the wrong decisions

and my life will amount to nothing

I want to live in a world where

not knowing what the future holds

is a comfortable feeling

I want to accept that

everything will not be alright

but some things will

I want to remember what I have

before I spiral

And I want to feel worthy


I want to finally feel my value

Just knowing and thinking is not enough

My long-term thinking failed me yesterday

I was assessing from the present moment

Nothing from before

Nothing in the future

Just now

This is not a spiritual state

It is destructive

Being in the now

is not always where to be