It took a while to get angry

It took years to realise why

It still takes skill to direct it towards the source

It takes a conscious effort not to be destructive

I need to think of others before I decide

Not to hurt myself

I don’t see a purpose in me being alive

Other than it’s been so hard and I am still here

That there must be something I have to do

I keep doing

I achieve

I get up

I get out

I just want to go now

I want to go home now

Can I be let off now?

When will it be over?

My brain tells me

I am happy

I am surrounded by caring people

The worst is over

Everything is fine

My memory reminds me

I know what love it

I know what beauty is

I have made things happen

Nothing matters

It feels like something doesn’t register

It feels like I have dropped a ball

and it’s bouncing away from me

I am inundated with




I truly see the


My parents couldn’t love me

My parents abused me




It should be their problem

But it has become mine

They made me an orphan

They cut me up and took my bits ransom

They are asking me to pay

I am forwarding them the bill