Closing my eyes
immediately transported
somewhere uncanny
nothing safe
all tricking me
The feigned safety
of the past
I am walking on a road
the landscape
a hybrid of old Nicosia and Paul-Linke Ufer
There is a fork in the road
planted grass and flowers in between
I walk with my partner
Our friend walks past us
the other way
I lose my partner
I need to take my bicycle to a warehouse
It is a bendy piece of metal with a seat
I need to assemble and contort myself
I carry baby clothes with me
and a few dolls
My partner is out with others
Two other women get him pregnant
with a dildo
He becomes aggressive with me
We both throw glasses
Mine doesn’t break
His cracks
Neither shatters
He is lost to me
I don’t recognise this person
I don’t know what is growing in his stomach
My sister is shouting at me
I am in Cyprus
I am in Germany
I am lost
in a multi-storey building
with a faulty lift
little light
hidden rooms
dirt
I breathe shallowly
I inhale quickly
There are no tears
Everything is under
some unknown surface
vaulted away from humanity
Opening my eyes
I am back to reality
The dream felt more real
I am still waking up
I am frightened
of things turning on me
I hope I am awake on the right side
of this consciousness