Problems
The dirtiest word
The last thing
the successful individual
wants to utter
to other successful individuals
I used to believe people
who said that they had a happy childhood
I used to believe people
who said they have no grievances with their parents
I used to believe people
whose biggest complaint was how the bus was late today
I used to think there were two kinds of people:
People with trauma
People without trauma
Trauma means handicap
Non-trauma means one has more to give
Imagine my surprise when I realised
that each person’s trauma is self-defined
and in fact those people who disclose it
may even be a step ahead of those who have
not even recognised it yet
I came out of my closet of shame
years ago
as a self-professed traumatised person
a person committed to sorting herself out
Reactions have been mixed
From admiration to pity
It brought out so much in people
I saw so much of other people’s shit
Some people felt so much better off than me
Others felt safe to tell me their stories
I assumed that people without stories
had none
But I was wrong
Keeping their stories from me kept them high
Keeping their stories from me kept them problemless
Maybe their denial of pain is a confirmation of it
Maybe their denial of pain is confirmation of a pain
so deep
they can’t even
acknowledge it without falling apart